Set yourself free


“When something bad happens you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.” ~Unknown


It's been almost half a year since the change in my life. 
30th May actually marked our 10th anniversary together. To be honest, there are still days when I wake up and wonder if all that happened was just a dream but on some days I glad it happened before it got too late.

Ever since then, I've been very thankful to know that there are so many people out there who have my back. All the encouraging texts/emails/DMs that would bring a huge smile to my face. 
People always ask how can I remain so calm and strong after all these drama cos all I did was continue posting my ootds etc. Not many knew but during the first few days, I chose to hide at home and did all things self destruct. (no suicidal thoughts of cos) I couldn't eat nor sleep cos the heartache was so unbearable that it felt like someone stabbed my heart.


Good thing after a week or so, with the help of my closed ones, I concluded that nobody in this world cannot live without another person. All the 'how do I live without you' doesn't really happen in reality. 


I know there are some of you out there who are still struggling to move on... To save yourself, you need to fill your days with activities - I'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing that mine occurred during the festive period, Xmas then Cny. It was indeed awkward when my relatives gave me x2 angbaos and when non believed what happened. But yes, instead of hiding in your room and refusing to meet anyone, it's definitely a better idea to spend your everyday to the fullest. Tire yourself so much everyday that you don't even have the time to brood over it when you get back home at the end of the day. 



It was really a struggle removing him from my r/s status on fb so I'm glad my friend insisted in doing so for me. As for IG, god knows why but I got blocked by both of them within a week or so. When you don't get any updates, you tend to think less about it. Hopefully as time goes by, you will be able to remove them from your memory. Have faith, I strongly believes that everything happens for a reason. 'When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.'


I know all these are easier said than done but I truly hope to forgive and then forget as time goes by. After all, I don't want to live with the burden for the rest of my life. With that, all the best to everyone reading this post. If you are in a long r/s, cherish and love your partners even more. If you're still lost, do yourself a favour and set yourself free. 



Moving on.
Till then...

Comments

  1. This will give you an idea of how much a Nuffnang blogger earn from each advertorial http://voiceofjusticeposts.tumblr.com/

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are so brave! Your family and friends will always be there and you definitely deserve better. I am in a long term r/s too so I understand how it must have felt. But really, leave the toxic ppl behind and move on to a happier future! Jiayou~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thankyou :)
      Cheers to a happier future!

      Delete
  3. i understand the stab in the heart feeling,if my intuition is right something similar happened to me years back too. its not easy to walk out from it but u are really strong :)

    have faith, u will meet someone who knows how to cherish u and any heartache before that will only be something that u may think about once in a while but this will be one of those things which contribute to what makes us wiser n stronger in life. jiayou!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well.. Life goes on!
      Thankyou for your well wishes, I hope all is good over at your side too :)

      Delete
  4. Hi Jolene, I've been your avid follower ever since years back and never have ever left a comment on any of your platforms. I just want to let you know that you're really strong and brave! When I first read about what happened, I couldn't believe what was happening because I couldn't understand how someone could have done something so wrong and chose to give up on a ten years relationship. I felt truly sad and heartbroken for you and imagined what I would go through if I were you instead. I also have a eleven years relationship and it was a tough journey but we're married now.

    I'm happy to know that you're moving on fine and I really wish that one day you'll meet someone who truly deserves your time and love. You're an inspiration to girls. Take care!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So nice to hear that, thankyou! But don't feel sad for me, it's actually a blessing in disguise all these happened before it's too late.
      Eleven years and married is fantastic, true love still exists :)

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  5. Replies
    1. Thankyou! In fact, i'm happier than before :)

      Delete
  6. Didn't mean to hurt you but I guess you are really keeping it in...

    http://gurugossiper.com/viewtopic.php?cache=1&f=35&t=28774

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  7. Hi Jolene, I went through the same thing a year ago and it was painful. I remember hiding at home and not wanting to do anything. But I always believe that time will heal all wounds :) everyone around me has told me the same thing that I should be thankful he did it to me before marriage. Remember this, girls like us won't get defeated so easily! We will all come out stronger than before. BIG HUGS!

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    Replies
    1. So well said! I'm glad to hear you walked out of it stronger too! xoxo

      Delete
  8. I went through the same thing as you went through at the same period. I hide myself for 2 weeks, did self destructive stuff because at that point of time you thought you really cannot live without him. Although we've patched things up (cos we are alr married and he asked for forgiveness) I decided to forgive him this once. But it's even harder for the initial months, sometimes u wake up hating him. But since I made the decision I have to move on. This whole entire drama, define and strengthen me! Jia you!! We can all do it!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I went through the same thing as you went through at the same period. I hide myself for 2 weeks, did self destructive stuff because at that point of time you thought you really cannot live without him. Although we've patched things up (cos we are alr married and he asked for forgiveness) I decided to forgive him this once. But it's even harder for the initial months, sometimes u wake up hating him. But since I made the decision I have to move on. This whole entire drama, define and strengthen me! Jia you!! We can all do it!

    ReplyDelete

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